I'm feeling really insecure, lonely and a tad suicidal. Like I want to die, but I'm not in the state of mind where I'm going to do something stupid. Just the thoughts are there.
I know I am eternal, and this pain is an illusion but it bothers me none the less. I can think through this logically, knowing in a week these feelings will be gone but it is not comforting. Rationalization makes sense, I get it, but it does nothing to comfort or rid this feeling right now. If I know what is wrong, and I know how to fix it, and I AM fixing it then why are the feelings still here?
This is not a cry for attention, but if you want to reach out I'm open to chatting. This is more of me just getting my thoughts down, to ensure myself that I am not totally insane. To reinforce that any suffering in this life is not forever and that I control how I feel. So I question, if I have and understand this logically then why do I feel illogical?
Where to start...I guess that is the question every artist faces. Where does a piece of art start, and where does it end? Is their an end? Or does art continue well beyond the initial reaction of the viewer?|
I'm just an artist. Nothing special. Some of my work is just there, and some has a hidden meaning. It's up to you to draw what you want into it.
The art is not made for you, its made for me. It's to satisfy my ego, my obsession and my passion. You are a byproduct of my art, you are an extension of it. You are just as much of the art as the photos themselves. You, consumer are the finishing touches.