I'm feeling really insecure, lonely and a tad suicidal. Like I want to die, but I'm not in the state of mind where I'm going to do something stupid. Just the thoughts are there.
I know I am eternal, and this pain is an illusion but it bothers me none the less. I can think through this logically, knowing in a week these feelings will be gone but it is not comforting. Rationalization makes sense, I get it, but it does nothing to comfort or rid this feeling right now. If I know what is wrong, and I know how to fix it, and I AM fixing it then why are the feelings still here?
This is not a cry for attention, but if you want to reach out I'm open to chatting. This is more of me just getting my thoughts down, to ensure myself that I am not totally insane. To reinforce that any suffering in this life is not forever and that I control how I feel. So I question, if I have and understand this logically then why do I feel illogical?